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Can adults say "Let's be friends"

Making friends as adults without making it weird

By Jenn Grubb Editor/Publisher Macaroni Kid Colorado Springs August 14, 2023

Making friends as adults can indeed be more complex and challenging than it was during childhood. There are several reasons for this, and while it might not necessarily get "weird" after a certain age, there are societal and psychological factors that can make adult friendships more nuanced and delicate.

**1. Lifestyle and Responsibilities: As adults, we often have busy lives with work, family, and other responsibilities. Finding time to cultivate and nurture new friendships can be difficult when our schedules are already filled.

**2. Social Circles: In childhood, our social circles were largely dictated by school and extracurricular activities, making it easier to meet and connect with peers. As adults, our social circles tend to be smaller and more established, making it less likely to come across new potential friends.

**3. Trust and Vulnerability: Adults tend to be more cautious about whom they let into their lives due to past experiences and the need to protect themselves emotionally. Building trust and being vulnerable with new friends can take time and effort.

**4. Social Norms and Fear of Rejection: Adults are more aware of social norms and fear the potential awkwardness of being rejected when trying to make new friends. This fear can deter people from approaching others openly.

**5. Shared Experiences: Childhood friendships are often formed based on shared activities and interests. As adults, we might feel that we need to have more in common with someone to establish a meaningful friendship.

**6. Online Communication: The rise of online communication and social media can sometimes give the illusion of connection without the depth of real-life interactions, making it harder to establish genuine connections.

While it might feel uncomfortable to approach someone and say "let's be friends," it's not inherently weird. The perception of it being strange might come from the fact that adult friendships are often built more subtly over time. Instead of a direct approach, consider engaging in activities or groups where you share interests. This can create a more natural context for getting to know people and forming friendships.

Tips for Making Friends as Adults:

  1. Pursue Interests: Join clubs, classes, or groups centered around your hobbies or interests. This provides a shared context for making connections.
  2. Networking: Attend professional events and networking gatherings. These can lead to both professional contacts and potential friendships.
  3. Socialize: Attend social gatherings hosted by friends or acquaintances. This can help you expand your social circle organically.
  4. Volunteer: Participate in community service or volunteer activities. This allows you to meet people while doing something meaningful.
  5. Online Platforms: Utilize social media or platforms designed for meeting new people, but remember to transition online connections into real-life interactions.
  6. Be Approachable: Smile, initiate conversations, and show genuine interest in others. Being open and friendly encourages others to approach you.
  7. Patience: Building friendships takes time. Don't rush the process, and focus on quality over quantity.

Remember that making friends is a two-way street. Just like you may feel nervous about approaching someone, they might also be feeling the same way. Starting with shared activities and showing genuine interest in others can help form connections that can develop into meaningful friendships over time.